"My boyfriend treats me like a queen, that's why I'm breaking up with him"
We accept the love we think we deserve and it shows.
Life would have us believe that finding true love is like finding a needle in a haystack.
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Everything from pop culture to our very own life experiences have convinced us that finding a man who truly is husband material, or finding a woman who could be your wifey, is one of the biggest struggles you will ever encounter.
Between the red flags, the toxicity, and just finding someone you can have a conversation with, finding a soulmate seems nearly impossible.
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And don't get us started on finding someone willing to do the bare minimum: treat you like a human being who deserves respect and love.
So if the end goal of 'Happily Ever After' is so hard to reach, why do we self sabotage our own journey?
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Or worse: why do we choose to stay with people who are clearly NOT 'The One'?
Cherlyn Chong is a relationship coach and she says that women tend to remain in toxic relationships because they are scared they will never find another man who will love them and stay with them, leaving them doomed and forever alone.
Scary, right?
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Psychology researcher Raquel Peel says that even in her own life she was a "romantic saboteur".
I assumed that people in my relationships would eventually leave me; I also assumed that all my relationships would fail.
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Our past relationships, our upbringing, and what we've been exposed to our entire lives are what define us and it all plays a role in our future relationships as well.
Listener Carla has found herself in this very situation.
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She is currently dating a man that treats her like a queen. He is treating her with the love and respect she deserves, but it's making her think that it's time to pull the plug.
Take a listen as Stacey, J Sbu and KZN share their best advice with Carla.
If you feel like you can relate and you might be a love saboteur, here's Raquel Peel's TEDxJCUCairns talk:
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