Ring on hold: Amelia's debt dilemma

Ring on hold: Amelia's debt dilemma

Amelia's boyfriend wants her debt-free before a proposal. We hope we can help her move forward.

Debt stock image
Giuseppe Lombardo / iStock

Hold onto your hats, lovebirds, we have a juicy confession from a listener named Amelia.

Here's the deal: Amelia's been with her boyfriend for a blissful two years, but their path to happily ever after seems to have hit a major detour. Brace yourselves, because Amelia's boyfriend is refusing to propose... until she pays off her debt!

The Confession

"Hi Stacey and J Sbu, it's Amelia. My boyfriend of two years told me that he wouldn't propose to me until I paid off my debt. I had acquired medical bills and a few credit card debts before we met. I'm R260,000 in debt as we speak. It has me thinking, is he using my debt as an excuse not to purpose."

This is a situation that'll leave you saying, "Whoa, there!" Financial stability is important for marriage, but should it be the only reason to delay a proposal?

Amelia's situation is a complex one so we scoured the web to find some advice to help her navigate this tricky terrain:

Open Communication is Key: An honest conversation with her boyfriend is crucial. What are his specific concerns about the debt? Does he see it impacting their future lifestyle or stability? Understanding his perspective will shed light on whether it's a genuine worry or an excuse. For tips on effective communication in relationships, check out the Gottman Institute.

Crafting a Debt Management Plan: Amelia's already tackling her debt, but creating a concrete plan with him can be reassuring. This could involve outlining a budget, setting realistic repayment goals, and tracking progress together. Resources like the National Foundation for Credit Counseling offer free tools and guidance on creating a budget and managing debt.

Remember that communication and a shared vision for the future are vital. If Amelia feels her boyfriend is hesitant for the wrong reasons, it might be time to re-evaluate the relationship's long-term prospects

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Image courtesy of iStock


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