What Darren’s late friend taught him about the gift of life

I was very sad but it’s not so bad now.

A very close friend of mine passed away suddenly and without warning last week and I have been having some difficulty in coming to terms with this loss.

She was young and beautiful and healthy and just wonderful.

It was a brain aneurysm that had burst. 

The doctors say she was probably dead before she hit the ground.

In conversations I was tempted to offer solace to her other friends and family with the platitude; "At least she didn't suffer" or “She’s in a better place now.’ 

But I stopped myself because such a statement just doesn’t ring true for me. 

I am not a believer in the afterlife and therefore cannot offer up these reassuring quotes and phrases that are designed to make our grief bearable and guide us to an acceptance of our loss.

My grief is real. My friend is gone. My loss is tangible - she will not answer when I call her number on my phone.
Messages of condolences streamed in and time and time again they contained such nebulous and vague ideas of support; "Heaven only takes the best of us." Or "Her work on earth was done."

With her nearly-finished novel next to her bed, her half a bottle of wine in the ‘fridge and her two dogs bowls sitting empty by the kitchen sink - I get a feeling she had one or two more things to do in this life.

No. These empty quotes and banal panacea’s offer no comfort to me.

But then, something happened that turned it all around for me. I received a ‘phone call from her family saying that her death had immensely changed the lives of a dozen people she didn't even know. 

I was really confused at first and asked her brother to explain.

You see, my friend was an organ donor, and her organs have gone on to change the lives - only for the better - for literally a dozen recipients.

A weight lifted off me. My tears of sadness dried up when the full impact of my friend’s selflessness struck me. I didn't even know that she was on the organ donor list. I allowed myself to start feeling better. 

My friend has gone, yes, but 12 people are alive today with renewed hope and a better quality of life because she died.

I can live with that.