Monday Motivation: Healing from toxic relationships

Monday Motivation: Healing from toxic relationships

Monday, 17 October, marks International Forgive an Ex Day - aimed at letting go of the pain caused by failed relationships.

Stressed woman crying feeling depressed
Stressed woman crying feeling depressed / iStock

Relationships contribute greatly to our mental wellness.

When we enter into a relationship, we invest our emotions and time. We even allow ourselves to be vulnerable and let our partners have access to our most intimate spaces.

But when the relationship doesn’t work out and it seems that all we have invested went to waste, we can be left feeling shattered.

Our mental health might be badly affected, and some people might be left feeling stressed, sad, defeated, vulnerable, depressed, and angry.

Some even hold feelings of unforgiveness.

READ: Monday Motivation: Identify your destiny helpers

Unfortunately, unforgiveness is toxic to your own health and mental well-being.

Dr Steven Standiford, chief of surgery at the Cancer Treatment Centers of America, told CBN News that unforgiveness can make a person feel sick.

Healing does not come easy, but the first step is to acknowledge how wounded you are.

Also forgive yourself for any part you might have played in the relationship not turning out well. Sometimes you even have to forgive yourself for ignoring all the red flags that were presented to you.

Another thing that helps one to move forward and forgive is acknowledging that we can never be responsible for how other people choose to behave. In some instances, you might have given your best to your ex, but they trampled on your kind deeds. Know that you are only responsible for how you treat others and how you allow their actions to affect you.

Depending on how deep the hurt or betrayal is, you might need to seek professional help.

One of the most important things to note when dealing with forgiveness is how it will benefit you and allow you to open a door to welcome peace and let go of any toxic feelings.

As you begin to heal, remember that the mind is one of the most powerful things we posses as human beings. Each day, you have to choose to direct your thoughts towards positive things instead of dwelling on the hurt of the past. 

READ: Monday Motivation: Building resilience

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