Can a sleep divorce save your marriage?

Can a sleep divorce save your marriage?

A new sleeping arrangement may help improve your relationship. 

A woman sleeping in bed alone
A woman sleeping in bed alone./ iStock (Demaerre)

Sleep divorces have been on the rise over the past few years and the COVID-19 pandemic saw a further increase in the number of people considering the arrangement. 

A "sleep divorce" does not mean the end of your marriage or relationship. It simply means that couples agree to sleep in separate rooms for a period of time or indefinitely  - depending on the arrangement. 

There are many reasons why people choose to do so, including different sleep patterns and behaviours. J Sbu and Stacey recently revealed that one couple in New York not only sleeps in separate rooms but in separate homes as well! 

Sana and Adnan Akhand, who tied the knot in their 20s, decided to make the change as they wanted to focus on their individual careers instead of their traditional roles as husband and wife. Sana says the move helped spice up their relationship after a difficult period.

"When we're about to see each other after a long day of work, we're so excited to see each other. Before, it's like, 'I had a bad day, leave me alone," Sana told Insider. They plan to continue the arrangement for three years. 

Reasons why couples choose a "sleep divorce"

  • Sleep disorders such as snoring and insomnia 
  • Sleep disruptions caused by different working hours/schedules 
  • Comfort reasons - one person prefers the aircon on while the other prefers to keep warm under a blanket
  • Health reasons

ALSO READ: The best pillows for a good night's sleep

According to a TIME article,  being well-rested is vital for couples. 

"All of the things it takes to make a relationship work are probably completely decimated by lack of sleep,” a neurologist told the publication.

Here's how a "sleep divorce" can help your relationship.

  • Poor sleeping patterns can lead to exhaustion, which can ultimately affect your sex life. 
  • Not getting enough sleep can also affect your mood. This could lead to you easily becoming irritated or angry with your partner.
  • It can preserve the mystery in your relationship.  Gwyneth Paltrow told Harper's Bazaar in a 2020 interview that she lived apart from her husband for a year. They spent four nights together and three days in their respective homes with their children from previous relationships. "I think it certainly helps with preserving the mystery and also preserving the idea that this person has their own life. So this is something I’m trying to remain aware of now as we merge together," she said. 

A "sleep divorce" is not for everyone, but it is worth a try for couples in need of some change. 

ALSO READ: Listen: "Should I tell my partner I want to sleep in separate rooms?"

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