Raising boys vs raising girls
Raising boys and girls is the same but different, says our resident child expert, Jenni Johnson….
Raising boys and girls is the same but different. For today – it’s about boys and their emotions. Even in these enlightened times, boys are often expected to stifle their tears and swallow their anger while girls are allowed more free rein with their emotions. When your son gets upset, let him express himself, as long as he isn't being destructive or completely out of control. Then once he's regained control of his emotions, you can talk to him about what he's feeling and why. Help him label his feelings, whether it's hurt or sad or angry.
Raising girls and boys is the same but different. For today it’s about little girls and their emotions. Girls often seem to become more upset than boys when a friend doesn’t want to play with her or sit next to her or have another best friend, this is heart breaking behaviour and your reaction may be to sort it out but that isn’t going to give her the skills to resolve issues. Rather ask her how she felt when her friend said she didn’t like her anymore and explore various healthy options as to how to handle the problem, like find someone else to play with which can lead to a chat about how it is nice to have lots of friends.
Always think about the value system that you are imprinting onto your children. They are tomorrow’s future and what you teach them will be carried forward into society.
If the fighting between your children is making life unpleasant and you feel you have tried everything from positive praise, consequences for unacceptable behaviour, rewards for good behaviour, ignoring the squabbles. You may feel you’ve taught them how to resolve conflict and nothing seems to be helping I suggest a family psychologist, the practical tips from a qualified emotionally uninvolved outsider can make such a difference and you will be given tools to use through all your child rearing days. I’ll put some names on jennisays.com
* Catch Jenni on-air every day just after 10am with her tip of the day.
Jenni Johnson, our resident ‘Baby Whisperer’, has been a practicing child-care practitioner for 15 years, and owns a busy ante and post natal clinic in Durban.
At Jenni’s ante and post natal clinic in Durban, parents are taught a system that gives them structure and routine to the baby and childhood years. Jenni has a nursing background. She’s a registered nurse, midwife, psychiatric nurse and a practicing child-care practitioner for the past 15 years. Jenni’s online clinic, can be accessed online via www.jennisays.com. For appointments, e-mail [email protected]. Follow her on Twitter via @JenniSays or on Facebook by 'liking' The Berea Baby Clinic.