Parenting 101: 15 February 2013
Jenni Johnson, our resident ‘Baby Whisperer’, has been a practicing child-care practitioner for 15 years, and owns a busy ante and post natal clinic in Durban. This week she discusses divorce and maintaining relationships, among other things.
* Brushing your children's teeth can be traumatic for parent and child! Let your little one choose his or her own toothbrush, ask her to clean your teeth while you clean hers. Let him watch himself in a mirror whilst brushing. Make brushing teeth a game, sing a song or pretend the toothbrush is a train going into a tunnel.
* No matter how well you’ve prepared your child for the arrival of a new brother or sister, he or she will be jealous. Times of playing up and demanding your attention are often when you can’t give it, such as when you’ve just sat down to feed. I teach to be a jump ahead so before a feed is due prepare lunch or a snack, put some toys or books at your feeding chair – do this with all feeds and keep it interesting.
* If you’re a recently divorced parent, make an effort to be emotionally present when you’re with your children. It would be easy to retreat if you’re feeling very hurt or angry but this is a time when they need you more than ever. Simple activities like playing a board game or taking a walk together can go a long way toward communicating the message that life will go on and they will be okay.
* Making the grandparent relationship work is SO important for you, the parents and the grandchildren. A few things never say to your daughter or daughter in law regarding her baby are: Do you think he might be hungry? (especially if she’s just fed him) OR Are you feeding her again? OR Why don't you put him in that outfit that I bought for him? Or ‘don’t you think it was time she was weaned’?
* The thought of celebrating your love for each other when you have a newborn is sometimes too exhausting to think about, but acknowledging each other in a special way is important to do on Valentine’s Day. Most restaurants have an online menu so order in your favourite food and set the tone at home with a candle-lit dinner and your favourite music.
* This week is pregnancy education week so I encourage all of you who are pregnant or are planning a pregnancy to attend antenatal classes. Data suggests that parents who attend classes are less fearful of the birth; have better success with breastfeeding and cope better with baby’s homecoming. Those of you who are planning an elective caesarean will benefit as much as a planned natural birth would. If the thought of strange people puts you off arrange a one on one with a good clinic.
* Do your children fight a lot with one other? The most common reason for this is jealousy and competitiveness. Never compare your children, spend time together as a family disciplining and rewarding them in the same way and spend one on one time with each of them.
* Remember that not only are your children growing so are you as a parent. They are learning from you as you are from them - and they are watching your every word and action, these words and actions could influence their behaviour and personality.
* Constipation is when the stool is hard and dry. Exclusively breastfed babies can't get constipated, they may not pass a stool for up to 10 days but if their weight gain is fine and your child is content don’t worry. Bottle fed babies must pass a daily stool. Sometimes changing cereal brands helps. Always offer water if your child is on formula or solids especially in the hot weather.
* When you are 4 weeks pregnant the kidneys prepare to produce droplets of urine, the arm and leg buds form and within 48 hours there will be demarcations for upper and lower limbs. The face moulds itself into the beginnings of eyes, ears, nose and mouth. The body is 6mm long!
* As a new parent be prepared to drop your standards for a while, you'll find days when lunchtime comes around and you'll still be in your pyjamas; your house may be a bit messy and you may feel disorganized but your baby is small for such a short time so take the time to enjoy and cherish this special age.
* Catch Jenni on-air every day just after 10am with her tip of the day.
At Jenni’s ante and post natal clinic in Durban, parents are taught a system that gives them structure and routine to the baby and childhood years. Jenni has a nursing background. She’s a registered nurse, midwife, psychiatric nurse and private nurse practitioner.
Jenni’s online clinic, can be accessed online via www.jennisays.com. For appointments, e-mail [email protected]. Follow her on Twitter via @JenniSays or on Facebook by 'liking' The Berea Baby Clinic.