Learning to tame your thoughts

A troop of monkeys is frolicking in the jungle. There are so many of them you can’t keep track of any single monkey. Think about what is going on in your head with your thoughts.  

Does it feel a bit like that? 

Congratulations and welcome to the human race. We have an amazing ability to think about multiple topics at once and switch and change track several times a second. 

This ability can help us and harm us. If we have developed a habit of accelerating reality by justifying and trying to change the past in our minds “if only..” “I could have..” or creating the worst scenario of the future before it has even happened, we reduce our ability to live a happy life.  

Here is an example of a mind out of control:

“I think it is so unfair that I got picked out at the sales meeting just because I was the only one who didn’t make target. It was because head office didn’t send that approval through on time and the client cancelled. And I had been working on that deal for two months. But no one mentions that. I can’t carry working here if I don’t get support. Jane gets support all the time and her deals get passed, no problem.  I don’t know what she’s got that I haven’t.  If I don’t make target next month I going to lose this job and if I get fired, it will be hard to find another job. If I don’t have an income where will we live? Our only choice will be to move into the wife’s parent’s home. Oh no! They don’t like me - and to live in the same house! What will happen to my marriage? They will just take her side all the time like last year.  We will definitely split up. Then where will I stay without income?...” 

Just typing this out I am starting to feel bad.  

Can you imagine this person having a good day and making an astonishing sale today with these thoughts in his head?  Clearly there are elements of truth in the mental conversation, but is it all the truth?  Only time will tell.  

However, the following may be equally true:

“It seems like I have not performed according to what is expected in this job. Not getting that contract approved on time was a disaster.  I wonder how Jane gets her deals through? Maybe I can do something differently and Jane may be able to help me?  I should ask her.  I need to get three new prospects the same size as the deal I lost as soon as possible. I will draw up a list of possibilities and make all the appointments by the end of today.  If I can convert one of these by the end of this month, I will secure my job and if I can get another two by next month, the commission will allow us to get away for a weekend.  Ah to get to the mountains and breath fresh air. We had so much fun before Christmas last year when we were away...”

This too has elements of truth.  

The point is we can choose which set of thoughts we want to allocate mind time to. The important fact is that when we allow our minds into the negative space for too long, it affects our chemical balance and accelerates our unhappy chemicals and we fall into a sad, mad or bad mood.  

The opposite is true as well. Positive thoughts promote the production of positive neurochemicals and our mood improves and with it our energy levels.

If you want to get going and make a difference in your life, you have to pay attention to what you are thinking. 

*Mariane Vorster is a life and business coach. Her passion and focus is on providing strategic leadership development, concentrating on the transfer of skills and knowledge. Click here to get in touch with Mariane.