Learn to pick your battles
There is a famous saying; “choose your battles”, or “Don’t win the battle and lose the war”. My husband says, “Do not descend into the arena”.
All of these speak to the same thing.
Although it is tempting to fight every injustice towards us and even others, there needs to be some wisdom applied.
Fighting battles can be tiring and the costs can be high in terms of time, money and energy. If we try and fight every “war” it will be unlikely that we will be able to. We will simply run out of one of the resources; time, money and energy.
The question is: are you fighting the battles that matter and can you influence and change things?
Does this mean that sometimes I have to turn my back on an obvious injustice or insult?
The answer is “yes”. Live to fight another day.
The other point to consider here is that if people know that we are easily triggered, they will use that to distract us. While you are jumping about on your high horse, the perpetrator is laughing in their sleeve as you have missed the real problem. They are off the hook because you have little self-control and judgement.
There are lots of examples in sport where players choose just the right moment to insult an opponent - the objective being to get them to lose focus or maybe seek retaliation with a punch or something else that will get them disqualified.
So keeping your cool may serve you well.
Let’s use the analogy of gladiators in the arena: there is a lot dust and chaos in the arena so it is hard to make good decisions. You are much better off in the stands watching from a distance.
So the next time you find yourself going “there”, stop. Consider:
• What is the prize if I win this one?
• Will anyone even notice if I win?
• What are the possible negative outcomes of winning?
Use your resources wisely.
*Mariane Vorster is a life and business coach. Her passion and focus is on providing strategic leadership development, concentrating on the transfer of skills and knowledge. Click here to get in touch with Mariane.