'My bikini line was like a dodgy nightclub floor at 3am'
Updated | By Jane Linley-Thomas
Jane shares a story of a lady who took to social media to share her experience of a self-waxing kit she bought from a major retailer, and it's the funniest thing you'll read all year.
I must be honest, the closest I get to wax is the coloured pillars that make up a crayon box. Luckily my hair growth is slow and fair and I once in a while endure a quick leg and under arm shave. That suits me just fine.
Call me a baby, but I really don't cope well with the waxing process. The sitting in anticipation of the wax strip being pulled is the worst!
I remember a day or two before I had the twins I went and had a wax. My pain sensors were so over sensitive that I left with half the job done.
This woman's rant on Facebook gave me the giggles. If anything, this will make your day!
Here is Hanah's full post:
Boots, we need to have a word. These are, categorically, the worst wax strips in the world. I haven't tried all the other wax strips, but I'm confident I don't need to. That's how bad these are.
Here's a list of things that could have waxed me more successfully:
*candle wax
*beeswax
*wax crayons
*George Evelyn, better known as electronic music composer Nightmares on Wax
*the 2005 film House of Wax, starring Paris Hilton.
You're probably questioning just how bad they could be. Well, gather on the carpet because it's story time.
Last night, I decided to use your wax strips to tidy up my bikini line. I know, right? You can almost feel the burn. But it's worth it for that silky smooth skin.
So, I followed your instructions on how to use the strips. It's not rocket science, but it's best to be sure, isn't it? You wouldn't want waxing to go wrong, would you?
So, as instructed on the back of the pack I warmed a strip, stuck it down, endured the brief but childbirth-level pain intensity of ripping it off, and looked down, ready to admire a peachy beach-ready inner thigh.
Do you know what I saw instead, Boots? All the hair I'd just tried to take off not even slightly detached from its follicles. Except now, matted firmly into the hair was a thick layer of wax. Have you touched that wax when it becomes separated from its strip? It is so sticky it could have held together the original Sugababes line-up. My bikini line was like the dance-floor of a really questionable club at 3am.
I was slightly panicked until I remember the wax residue removing moisturising wipes included in the box of wax! It will all be ok, I thought, for the wipes will resolve this.
I took one of the wipes and started trying to rub off the wax/glue/melted Push Pop hybrid. However, instead of rescuing my skin, the wipe becomes trapped and bits of it tear off and firmly adhere to my waxy, furry skin, like a series of tiny surrender flags.
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