Co-sleeping with kids: When is it time to stop?
There are many pros and many cons to a family bed. Although it may seem harmless, when is the appropriate time to put a stop to it? A psychologist shares her view on the topic with Jane.
Listen as Julia Green, a Durban-based Clinical Psychologist specialising in attachment-based parenting, shares her thoughts on the topic in the podcast, then read more below:
As a young child, I would often crawl into my mom and dad's bed in the dead of night. I would always get onto my dad's side of the bed and loved having him close to me.
I can remember waking up in the dark, calling out for them, scampering into their room, and calling softly as to make my dad aware that I was there. Due to his tractor-like snoring, I knew that if I touched him to ask him to move up, he would startle and give us both a fright.
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I must say that our kids go to sleep without a fuss. Cooper has his own room and the twins share a room on a bunk bed. They do come through during the night sometimes and it's not a biggie because I wake up in the morning to find them cuddled close to me and Mr T.
A friend of mine is having a huge issue as her son will not sleep in his own room and insists on sleeping in her bed, and then wriggles through the night and she can't have a peaceful night's sleep.
I can imagine that's a problem if you can't sleep, but for me, it's not an issue. My dad said to me once that you never know the last night your child will want to sleep next to you. He said that one night I just never came through and never did so again. Kind of sad really.
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I try and relish and hold onto each chapter of my little people growing up and. to be honest, once you have a child you realise that sleep is a luxury and even when they're grown up, you never sleep like you did before having them as you always wonder how and where they are. Each night I lie in bed and have a moment of gratitude having us all five safe and sound under one roof.
There's no right or wrong time for your kids to stop sleeping in your bed. I guess it's up to the parent. But most of the time your kids will just stop joining you and start being their own person - and that's the hardest part for a parent. Parenting ain't for sissies, that's for sure.
If you have any questions on attachment-based parenting, please contact Julia Green on 0844693757. She has a Glenwood branch and will be opening a Hillcrest branch soon.