Dear Oscar: 12 things that have changed whilst you were away
A lot has changed while Oscar was in prison. Darren has put together a guide as to what he has missed out on. Can you add to this list? Check it out here.
I know you have only been gone for a year but the world has changed quite a bit in that time.
Marijuana is now legal in the USA and guys can now marry their boyfriend.
They found water on Mars! Now, we know you’re under house arrest but we took the liberty of asking if you could please be the 1st man to be put under ‘planet arrest.’
A new species of sub-human discovered. Homo Naledi was discovered - but was probably just placed there by Jan Van Riebeeck to start Apartheid.
Bill Cosby deserves to be in prison more than you do.
Kim and Kourtney Kardashian don’t have a Dad anymore but on the upside they have two Moms.
Cecil the lion was shot by a dentist.
There is a new Leon Schuster movie out which you should watch every day for the rest of your life as a part of your parole conditions.
Johann Stemmet has announced that this is his last year of ‘Noot vir Noot’ which you should be barred from watching as a part of your parole conditions.
Johnny Depp almost got 10 times your jail time for taking his dogs into Australia. They still don’t mind what you do to their sheep though.
The police commissioner has been suspended – No, Not Selebi… No, not Cele – Yep, Piyega.
The Dalai Lama was finally allowed into the country. Just kidding – but war criminal Omar al-Bashir pops in every now and again.
Have a nice day now!