VIDEO: #Newsbyrory takes a taxi to Soweto!
It was the experience of a lifetime for any rookie comedian. A full Soweto Theatre. Surrounded by the best in the business. This was the SA Comics Choice Awards Newcomer Showcase.
“Dude! I am surrounded by shops. They are everywhere!” This was shouted at me in a hotel room at around 09h35 on Wednesday 7 May 2014. The morning after the Savanna Comics Choice Awards Newcomer Showcase at the beautiful Soweto Theatre.
One of the comics from Durban (no names) overslept and failed to pitch downstairs at the hotel when our transport was ready to leave. I was sent to investigate with the hotel manager.
One could be forgiven for oversleeping and waking up amidst terror and confusion. It was a long night. There were 36 rookie comedians from all over the country. We were each given just 5 minutes to impress the audience, and more importantly, the judges, who would have the final say.
After being briefed by organiser, and comedy legend, John Vlismas, we each took a number from a hat that would determine in which order we would sweat on stage. I picked...wait for it...number 31. Thirty-bloody-one. It was a long, nerve destroying wait. It was like having to wait until after tea on day five of a cricket test match, knowing you had to face Dale Steyn as soon as you reached the crease. I did a lot of pacing. A lot of talking to myself too.
We had to time our sets perfectly. Once our allotted 5 minutes were up, the music would blare and MC Kagiso Lediga – another SA comedic genius – would run on stage and wrestle you for the microphone. Pretty much death on stage. If one compared it to MasterChef SA, it would be having only your garnish ready when the time was up. Nobody wanted to hear the music OR have top SA comic Lediga be lowered to the status of microphone wrestler. After all, it was Lediga’s birthday. He needed candles and cake, not random, roughly-rambling, rogue rookie comics.
If you want to know what #newsbyrory makes of the fact that last year murders in SA went up by 0.6% while attempted murders went up by 6%, watch the video. You might even laugh.
WARNING: Explicit language.
The SA Comics Choice Awards is organised by Vlismas and his team, Whacked Entertainment, and sponsored (very generously!) by Savanna. The VIP room backstage looked like the set of the Graham Norton Show. There were smart couches everywhere.
Oh, the food! Yes, food! Non-stop. And of course, a fully stocked Savanna bar; the latter was avoided by the wiser of us. Until we came off stage, that is. The drunk uncle at the wedding is never funny. Never be the drunk uncle at the wedding. Not on stage. Not when these five minutes have the potential to determine where you’ll be for the next five years.
I need to leave you with another quote that stood out for me. On the flight home, as we reached cruising altitude, the air hostess came onto the microphone and said, “Please note if you are sitting in economy class you are only allowed to use the economy class lavatories, not the lavatories in business class.” Erm. The last thing the airline and its business class posse need to deal with is that disgusting economy class excretion. You know what I mean?
Back to the subject at hand. There are two awards up for grabs in our category: the coveted South African Comics Choice Awards 2014 Newcomer of the Year Award (voted for by the professional comedians), and the Audience Choice Award.
It was an incredible experience, and the exposure we all received as rookie South African comedians – who would usually suck a marathon runner’s sock for a gig of this magnitude – was immeasurable. The next event is the awards evening on 2 August 2014.
For more information on the event visit: http://www.comicschoice.co.za/
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Twitter: RoryPetzer or #newsbyrory
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