Relationship advice from Darren Maule

It might be time to get relationship advice from a bachelor. This might seem like the last thing you would want to hear but let me tell you, I might just know more about healthy relationships because I am a devout bachelor. 

Most people enter a relationship with an ideal of what they want in a relationship... As a committed bachelor my mindset starts with what I don't want from a relationship.

I have had many relationships with varying degrees of commitment and longevity and I do get the sense that I have done the 'love' thing, and no longer feel compelled to have that girlfriend/boyfriend thing again any time soon.

There is plenty of love in my life that is distilled in different forms from my friends, family, colleagues and my child so I'm in no rush to put myself on the market for a 'love' affair.

The loving and committed relationships that I have now are far more rewarding and solid - I think - exactly because I know what I don't want or need in my life. Every girlfriend relationship I have had to date has compromised that.

That said, if you are looking to get into a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship and you don't trust the usual relationship advice readily available in magazine format, then perhaps these are just the tips you need:

The real bachelor's real guide to a real relationship

Have no expectations:
Go into a relationship with no preconceived ideas about how a partner should or shouldn't behave and let them surprise you.

Be realistic:
Do you ever expect your best friend to be just like Brad Pitt or your mother to be like Oprah? No, that's unrealistic, so why would you expect your partner to be Aphrodite or Dionysus?

Be honest:
You know he was looking at her, right? Why ask him if he was? And if he responds to that question, wouldn't it be refreshing for him to say; "Yes, I was perving over her and had you not been in my life I might have entertained the idea of actually pursuing her, but you are in my life and I don't want to compromise that... She is hot though, right?"

Trust what you feel and not what you see and hear:
All those other 'perfect relationships' are but a flimsy veneer. It's what they want you to believe and perpetuate the myth - because you do the same. We're all struggling. If you find someone that you can just be quiet with, you're on to something good.

Schedule romance:
If you didn't make that doctor's appointment - would the consultation happen? No. It's the same with relationships. When making day to day plans be sure to leave time aside for your significant other. It's not date night, they don't even have to know, just make sure there is time for the two of you and in this day and age if you don't schedule it, it won't happen

Be yourself:
Being you, and happy with you, is more rewarding than battling to be somebody else and constantly disappointing yourself.

Intimacy is not sex:
Letting someone inside your head is lot more intimate than inside your body.

(Photo: Gallo Images)