Not Safe for Radio!
A few weeks ago i told a story of a friend of mine who had to urinate on a fellow scuba diver to relieve him from the pain of a jellyfish sting, well the plot thickens as a young lady needed help too a bit later
A couple of weeks ago on the Breakfast Stack we told a story. Well, it was quite embarrassing for a friend of mine. We went scuba diving and he got stung on his leg by a jellyfish whilst exiting the water and getting into the rubber duck. He obviously immediately asked for somebody to urinate on him which my good friend – MagicMan (Andrew Eland) duly did and it actually worked.
Now – that was the story we told on air. The story I couldn’t tell on air also happened at Scuba Xcursion. We went out to dive and joining us was a young lady who was doing her qualifying dive so she was very, very nervous to start with and very, very new to all things scuba diving…such as all the traditions and goings on that occur with scuba divers.
To cut a long story short there we were - exiting the water, again, after doing one of her qualifying dives – she got stung by a jelly fish just like my good friend (who doesn’t like being mentioned) so for now we’ll call him Henk. He was stung on his leg and that was painful so you can imagine how this young lady felt when on her qualifying dive, first time in the ocean, she gets stung by a jellyfish on her face – not just on her face – but on her top lip. Right there between her nose and top lip. (The groove from nose to top lip is called the philtrum)
It started swelling and was excruciatingly painful and of course, as seasoned divers we knew that the only solution out on the water for a sting/jellyfish sting is in fact urine. The look on this girl’s face when all the men on the boat stood up, pulled down their wetsuits in front of her with their members out, all offering to add the medicinal element of urine to her top lip!!
She kept saying “No, no, no ,no”. It was only when we reached the shore when we realised she was the only one on the boat who did not understand that it would have been purely for medicinal purposes. We found this out when she ran into her boyfriend’s arms crying and saying to him, “I got stung by a jellyfish and all they wanted to do was wee on me!!”
Shame, she didn’t know that we wanted to put her out of her misery and that it wasn’t some sort of sick scuba diving fantasy to offer golden showers to injured qualifying divers….but perhaps if we had told her about the medicinal qualities of urine upfront – she would have been OK. (No need to have told her that vinegar would have worked too!!)
DARREN MAULE