Natarah Bugs Back!
I told Darren and Sky recently that I'd found a lizard in my pants before getting into the car for work one morning. I'd actually put my pants on and was about to sit down to drive when I felt something cold on my knee. I immediately thought I'd dropped some water on myself as I'd just taken a sip from my water bottle.
As I got ready to start the car, that cold sensation didn't go away. So I decided to touch it, to wipe a bit of the water away. I was freaked out by what I'd felt. It wasn't water. It was long and bumpy. I went into Taylor Swift 'Shake It Off' mode and didn't care that my neighbours were enjoying their last few hours of sleep. I screamed like a Pitch Perfect 2 vocalist on a rollercoaster and ran back into the house to take my pants off.
It fell down, that yucky lizard. It was about half the size of a teaspoon. It darted into the kitchen and I didn't care. I was too busy gaping at the milky substance on my knee. Did that thing just pee on me?! Please tell me it was just that!
So after relaying this story in full detail to Darren and Sky, Darren thought it would be a good idea to make me relive my nightmare, over and over again.
Check out the video below to see what Mr Maule (yes, I deliberately spelt it that way) did...
This carried on for two days! Sky did absolutely nothing. In fact, our sports guy helped Darren plot the next best place to hide the creepy-crawly!
It got so bad that I knew it wasn't going to stop until I did something about it. That's when this ominous warning came out...
Darren and Sky almost jumped out of their skin. What was I going to do with a cockroach? I hatched a plan so evil, so disgusting that even our programming manager reached for a gag bag. It was going to be beautiful to watch.
The guys didn't know what to expect. All I needed was a plastic tube. I found a cockroach that'd passed away three days ago and named her Rani. I'd preserved her so well in a plastic bag that she still looked alive and fresh.
All the boys needed to bring was their big boy pants and a lot of breath! They needed to hold the tube after I'd placed the roach inside and try to blow Rani into the other person's mouth...
Poor Sky. He apparently didn't get any action that weekend thanks to me! Ha ha ha! I wish Rani had landed in Darren's mouth. He was the bigger culprit after all. However, seeing Darren almost have a bowel function on live radio was good enough for me. Yes, that's how scared he was!
I hope these nuisances learnt their lesson. If they ever try to mess with me again, I'll just bring my little friend Rani back to work again!