Be prepared for Comrades

Be prepared for Comrades

Darren prepares you for all the ups and downs ahead of this weekend's Comrades Marathon.

marathon_runner.jpg
 
In the build up to the greatest Marathon in the world the media will bombard you with some fascinating facts like...
 
- The Comrade Marathon has been run 80 times and 76 768 people from around the globe have completed it at least once in their lives.
 
- Twenty-nine (male) runners have completed more than 30 Comrades Marathons and 2 567 have their green number awarded on finishing the 10th race.
 
- The course records for the two races are:
 
5:25 (Vladimir Kotov, 2000) and 6:11 (Elena Nurgalieva, 2004) for men and women respectively in the Up run and 5:24 (Bruce Fordyce, 1986) and 5:54 (Frith van der Merwe, 1989) for the Down run.
 
What they don't readily tell you is how many people don't finish the race.
 
The percentage of non-finishers for the Comrades Marathon on average is:

12.4% for men and 15.4% for women.

What I'm saying is that one has to accept the undeniable fact that, by these statistics, thousands of people are going to experience one of the most disappointing moments of their lives. 

What I would like to do for you, in the highly unlikely event that you are one of those few (thousand) that fails to complete this epic challenge, is to prepare you for how you want those pictures to come out.

Here are some celebs who you can learn from if you need to show your disappointed face should you not manage to cross the finish line at this year's  Comrades Marathon.

There's the George Clooney "silly me" face.

There's the "why me?!!!" face which Andy Murray is famous for.

There is the introspective "where did it all go wrong" face which Pete Postlethwaite nails.

If push comes to shove there's always the denial "I didn't get the memo" face which Katy Perry is very good at.

But whatever you do, never do a Lily Allen. The tantrum "get out of my face" face.

If all else fails, you could do the"give me the medal or I'll shove my 12 inch heels up your..." Nicky Minaj face

 

- DSM

Show's Stories