16 Days of Activism: ECR personality Carol Ofori opens up about surviving domestic abuse

In commemoration of the 16 Days of Activism of No Violence Against Women and Children campaign, Carol spoke candidly to Newswatch about her own terrifying experiences at the hands of a former boyfriend. 

She hopes her story of survival will serve as a testament to other victims of domestic abuse, that it is possible to break free from your abuser - and continue to live a happy life with someone else who will treat you with love and respect (just like she has!) 

Carol became the victim of domestic abuse when she was 23. Ten years on, she's managed to find closure, and move on from her heartbreaking ordeal. It's this healing which has allowed her to speak of her past without any fear, she says.

Carol says her former boyfriend at the time - the man who was her abuser - had initially showered her with love and gifts, before their relationship took a more sinister turn. 

She recalls the shame she felt at the incidents of abuse he subjected her to - and how for a long time, she struggled to talk to people about her ordeal. She admits that she also felt the need to 'protect' him - by not revealing the truth to others. At the time, her bubbly personality belied her pain.

Carol says she struggled to break free from the cycle of domestic abuse in her own intimate relationship with her abuser, because it was reminiscent of her own childhood. She admits that growing up, she witnessed her mom being abused by her dad - which eventually led to the couple getting a divorce.

It was ultimately her mom's brave move to leave the abusive relationship, which motivated Carol to walk away from her own situation.

Carol says that despite knowing she was in a dangerous, abusive relationship - she didn't leave immediately. Her former partner would bombard her with apologies and shower her with gifts to try to win her over after a major blowout, and she admits to trying to relate to the sincerity of his apology, rather than focusing on his behaviour.

Carol describes one frightening incident in which she was being choked by her partner until she passed out.

Carol, who married Greg Ofori in 2014, says for a long time she was afraid to pursue another relationship - as she was still being haunted by her past experiences. But her husband has helped her to heal, she admits - through his ongoing love and support.

Carol says that becoming a mom last year has changed her entire outlook on life. Her maternal instincts have made her more aware of the world we live in, and the dangers children in this country face on a daily basis. 

"I always wondered why Oprah never wanted to have kids. And Oprah always says that she didn't have kids because she just feels the world is hectic, and she's happy to live it her way and be happy. And I get it, because as a parent now, I'm extremely paranoid. My biggest fear is for my son to perpetuate everything I don't stand for. So, I'm always thinking and learning and hearing from other parents, on ways to expose kids from an early age to the realities of the world we live in today. As a child, domestic violence was not a discussion we had; it was more something I saw in the house," she says.

Carol believes that campaigns like the 16 Days of Activism initiative allow for a dialogue on topics which aren't really addressed by communities on an on-going basis. She believes it's particularly important for children to know about and talk openly about abuse.

"The truth is, it actually is important, because it's all about how kids are raised. And if kids in schools, varsity, wherever - are exposed to something like 16 Days of Activism, it helps them in their upbringing, in understanding that certain things are wrong. If those 16 Days of Activism are going into schools and doing the same thing, where they are exposing kids to teh realities of abusive relationships of both men and women and children - I think it would really open up the world to the idea that violence against anyone is unacceptable," she said.