Parents clash over daughter's 'period party'
A father has been praised for shutting down his daughter's "period party".
First birthday party. Check. First day at big school. Check. First period party to celebrate daughter's menstrual cycle. Uncheck!
Parents love marking their children's milestones with a big celebration, but one father draws the line at a "period party", and with good reason.
While many dads shy away from dealing with their daughter's menstrual cycle, he sprang into action when his 12-year-old told him she got her first period.
The man shared that a couple of months ago, his daughter walked into his home office "obviously upset".
"[She] stammers a bit, then manages to tell me that she just got her first period. I play the supportive dad," he wrote in an anonymous 'AITAH' Reddit post.
The dad says he comforted the tween and got her a box of sanitary pads his wife had bought earlier in the year in anticipation of this very moment.
"I got her some ice cream and Midol, told her there was nothing to be embarrassed about and she could always come to me for anything."
Dad gets an A for effort!
However, things quickly went left when his wife returned home and learned about their daughter's first menstrual cycle.
She starts crying and declares, "My little girl is growing up." But what she said next shocked both her husband and their daughter.
"[She] then asks who should be invited to the 'period party'."
According to Mayo Clinic, "A period party — sometimes called a 'first moon party' or a 'menstruation celebration' — is a way to commemorate a child's first period."
The parties, which have gained popularity in recent years, aim to take away some of the shame girls feel about getting their period.
Many are too scared to tell their family, while others are too embarrassed to be spotted in the period aisle.
Think of it as a coming-of-age party with self-care hampers and red velvet cupcakes.
ALSO READ: Sex and Sexuality: What women wish they’d been taught
The Reddit dad says he was already familiar with a period party thanks to comedian Bert Kreischer. Kreischer joked about his daughter's first period in his comedy special, 'Hey Big Boy,' which is available on Netflix.
The Redditor says his daughter immediately shut down the idea of a period party, telling her mom that she doesn't want anyone to know.
"Two days later, I get home from running errands, and before I can even make it to the stairs, 12yo runs up to me and asks if she can do her homework in my office. I'm confused, but say sure, and she bolts upstairs," he wrote.
"At this point, I started to suspect what was going on, and walked into the living room to find that my wife had not only decorated it like something which wouldn't have looked out of place on 'My Super Sweet Sixteen', but there were several family friends (all women) and a few I recognise as neighborhood mothers."
His wife seemed unfazed by her daughter's objections.
"This is an important time for a girl, she needs to know not to be ashamed of her body," she told her husband.
The dad acted as a shield between the mom and daughter, refusing to let the 12-year-old attend the surprise party.
He started taking down the decorations before the guests could even leave.
"[I] let the women know, calmly, but in no uncertain terms, that I appreciate what they wanted to do, but 12yo made it EXPLICITLY CLEAR that she DID NOT want this party, and my wife is trying to pressure her into it."
His wife did not speak to him for a week after the incident.
Reddit users praised him for standing up for his daughter, with many noting that puberty is an awkward and embarrassing time for both boys and girls.
"Having your parents shine a spotlight on every confusing milestone would be a nightmare. Imagine a first pube party or a wet dream dinner," one wrote.
Despite her unhappiness over the cancelled party, many felt the wife learned a valuable lesson.
"I understand why your wife did what she did. My mother didn’t know periods existed until she had her first. She thought she was dying. She screamed and cried until her friends explained what was happening. Her mom treated periods as a taboo topic that should never be brought up, even to teach your children," one woman wrote.
While she could understand the mom's point of view, the Reddit user added that it was wrong to ignore her daughter's feelings.
"However, your wife also ignored your daughter’s 'no'. That’s a consent issue. Your wife wanted to teach your 12yo that a woman’s normal bodily function isn’t taboo or nasty, but she ignored another important lesson, 'no means no'. Your wife needs to be aware of this & work on this so 12yo can be comfortable in telling people no & setting boundaries."
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