Experts explain how financial stress can affect your sex life

Experts explain how financial stress can affect your sex life

Dr Didah Mokwena and his wife Phanthi Mokwena talk about how finances play a role in a couple’s sex life. 

Intimate young couple
Intimate young couple/ iStock

Sexual intimacy is important in marriage - it can break or make it. 

“When you’re married, it is not just the love and affection that keeps the bond alive. A close sense of intimacy and togetherness is what is needed for your relationship to blossom and prosper. That being said, sex is one of the factors that can help you enhance the level of closeness and intimacy between you and your partner,” says marriage counsellors, Dr Didah Mokwena and his wife Phanthi Mokwena.  

But one of the things that can affect sexual intimacy is finances. 

The couple, who has been together for 33 years, says: “The lack of money or the abundance thereof can cause a lot of stress in a relationship.”

READ: Should a couple manage their finances separately or together?

The marriage counsellors say this is because of the connection between sex and the mind. 

“Remember sex starts in the mind, and if you’re stressed about financial issues, you can't perform well in the bedroom."

Dr Didah and Phanthi, the founders of It’s a Love Therapy, say it is important for both partners to be in a good mental state as stress affects both their performances.  

They also point out how the COVID-19 pandemic has affected marriages. 

“A lot of people sex life declined after covid hit because of fear of the unknown. Most lost their income, so they couldn't even engage on sex,” says the couple. 

However, it is important for couples to look at ways of how they can make their sex life great, even when the finances are lacking. 

Some of the ways include doing things that both partners will enjoy. Also, it is important for couples to not allow money issues to make them drift apart. This is why spending time together is important because it can help strengthen your bond. 

Another way to ensure your intimacy is not affected is to do acts of kindness for each other to ensure your love tanks are full. 

Lastly, be intentional about having sex, regardless of how hard it might seem. Don’t allow too much time to pass without having had sex. 

READ: The newlyweds guide to handling finances

Image courtesy of iStock/ @tool51

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