Golden Globes "a beautiful mess"

And a mess it certainly was, with onstage cursing, unprepared winners and seemingly endless treks to the podium. 

 

An indication that the show wouldn't be running smoothly came long before it began, when a sprinkler malfunctioned near the red carpet, soaking everything in sight.  

 

The carpet opened at its scheduled time, but it had to be washed down before the stars began arriving.

 

Returning as hosts for the second year in a row, Fey and Poehler weren't quite as nasty as they were last year, but they did get in a couple of good shots.  

 

They described Gravity, for example, as being about how "George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age." 

 

The pair also bragged that the show was so star-studded that compared to the rest of the audience, Matt Damon was "basically a garbage person." He later referred to himself as a "garbage man" later at the podium as a result.

 

There was also a funny bit where Amy played "Randy," Tina's "adult son from a previous relationship," who acted bratty onstage and walked out into the audience trying to guess who his father was, mentioning both Idris Elba and movie mogul Harvey Weinstein.

 

The one real water cooler moment, though, came early on in the show, when veteran actress Jacqueline Bisset was named best supporting actress for her role in the series Dancing on the Edge.  An emotional and overcome Bisset took forever to make her way to the stage, and when she got there, she was literally speechless, unable to utter a single world.  She then launched into a rambling speech about how "47 years ago," the Golden Globes called her a "promising newcomer," but she still wasn't making much sense. 

 

After promising "I'm going to get this together," the wrap-up music started, but Bisset ignored it.  She then said, "For those who have given me s**t, like my mother always said, 'go to hell and don’t come back!'"  Unfortunately, NBC misjudged the correct moment to bleep, obliterating the first part of her quote and leaving "s**t" up in the clear.  Backstage, Bisset said she could barely remember what she said.

 

When Elisabeth Moss took the stage directly afterwards after being named best actress in a miniseries or motion picture for Top of the Lake, she said, "Oh s**t," but NBC managed to bleep that one out.  But when Breaking Bad was named best TV drama later on, co-star Aaron Paul yelled, "Yeah, b**ch!" and NBC didn't even bother with that one.

 

In addition, many of the night's winners, including Andy Samberg, Amy Poehler, Matthew McConaughey and Robin Wright, all claimed not to have any speeches prepared because they didn't expect to win, but they managed to give some of the night's most entertaining speeches.  

 

Still, Poehler seemed pretty flustered, perhaps because when her name was announced as the winner, she turned around and planted a huge smooch on U2's Bono.

 

Continuing the "mess theme," at one point, presenters Jonah Hill and Margot Robbie were struck dumb because the wrong information was displayed on their teleprompter, so they had to read their introduction of their movie The Wolf of Wall Street off a piece of yellow legal paper.

 

Another odd onstage moment came when Diane Keaton paid tribute to Woody Allen, who was honored with the prestigious Cecil B. DeMille Award, but who didn't show up.  At the end of her speech, which praised Allen for creating unforgettable female characters, she uttered some sort of profanity which was bleeped, and then, illustrating her long association with the director, literally sang the old Girl Scout song, "A circle is round/it has no end/that's how long you're gonna be my friend."

 

Jennifer Lawrence, who was named best supporting actress for American Hustle, was her usual charming, goofy self onstage saying, "I'm sorry I'm shaking so much!," and telling the Hollywood Foreign Press, which hands out the Globes, "Don't ever do this again! It's so scary!"

 

The actual awards part of the show was also somewhat disjointed, with no one show or movie sweeping the night. 12 Years a Slave was named best drama, while American Hustle won best comedy, but the directors of both those films ended up empty-handed; the award instead went to Alfonso Cuaron, for Gravity. 

 

None of the cast members from 12 Years a Slave won either -- instead, the trophy for best actor in a drama went to Matthew McConaughey for Dallas Buyers Club; best actress in a drama went to Cate Blanchett for Blue Jasmine; and best supporting actor went to Jared Leto for Dallas Buyer's Club.  The award for best screenplay went to Spike Jonze for Her.

 

American Hustle star Amy Adams was named best actress in a movie comedy and Leonardo DiCaprio was named best actor for The Wolf of Wall Street. 

 

On the TV side, the recently-ended series Breaking Bad was named best TV drama, while Bryan Cranston was named best actor.  Robin Wright was a surprise winner of best actress, drama for the Netflix series House of Cards.  

 

Jon Voight was named best supporting actor, drama for Ray Donovan.  Everyone waited to see if he'd thank daughter Angelina Jolie, but he just mentioned his "family."

 

On the comedy side, the night's biggest shocker came when the freshman comedy Brooklyn Nine-Nine was named Best Comedy, while its star Andy Samberg was named best actor. Amy Poehler won her first Golden Globe as best actress in a comedy for Parks & Recreation.

 

(Photo: Big Bang Theory's Kayley Cuoco on the red carpet, via instagram.com/goldenglobes) 

 

- ABC Air Power