"If you Vat en Sit with a man, he will never marry you!"
Our family Sunday lunch turned out to be much more than I bargained for after my cousin decided to drop a bombshell as I was enjoying my seven colours meal!
At least one Sunday a month, the Nxumalo family likes to get together to enjoy a Sunday lunch. The COVID-19 pandemic has made committing to this gathering even more important.
We can all get so caught up with our everyday lives that making family time can become increasingly difficult. This past weekend, I was especially looking forward to attending the lunch as my second and third cousins had mentioned in the family WhatsApp group that they would be attending. They are based in Mandeni, which is quiet a drive out from Durban.
As soon as I set foot into my mother's house, which is where we host our Sunday lunches, I was taken by the smell of delicious food that had been prepared in the early hours of the morning, including my favourite home-made custard. As we all sat down to feast on our aunt's efforts, it was clear that one family member was missing - my younger cousin.
Her late arrival was not a shock, she is notorious for being late for everything, but what she shared with the rest of the family upon her arrival was shocking!
As I was about to devour my fried chicken, my cousin shared that she was late because she was moving house with her boyfriend of three years and that the two were unboxing some of their furniture.
Yes, my unmarried cousin shared with a table of very conservative women that she and her boyfriend were moving in together.
I pretended to not have heard her as I watched my aunt and mother demand answers rom my cousin, one after the other, on her decision, as they put it, to 'Vat en sit' with a man she was not married to. Now, my family is very old school, especially the women in the Nxumalo family. I am not sure why my cousin thought it was a great idea to even tell them this.
Her mom, who is my aunt, did not mince her words:
No man will ever marry you if he gets to live with you! You will be doing all the wifey duties, you are bringing shame to our family! You need to be lobolared first sisi
Listen to what Joash, a religious man had to say:
Now, personally, I disagree with my aunt. For me, there are a lot of benefits to living with someone before you choose to get married. They say you never really know someone until you have lived with them. I would have been more tactical in not sharing this information with my family, however.
What are your thoughts, KZN? Is 'Vat en sit' really that bad?
Listen to what KZN had to say:
For more from #Stacey&JSbu, check out past episodes below: