Local mom shares why she decided not to medicate her child diagnosed with ADD

Yesterday I spoke to a lot of different people across the board from different angles regarding ADD/ADHD, one of which was Jessica Keel who is presently the Academic Development Coordinator at Varsity College Westville where she lectured Psychology, and also focusses on improving students’ academic writing and study skills. 

Here is her story.

When my son was 6, I was told that he was uneducable without meds, and based on research I had done when I studied Psychology, I opted not to medicate. 

Instead I set about researching and constructing an alternative way forward for him. 

Thanks to a supportive school and wonderful teachers, he is now coping beautifully, he’s a mentor in Grade 7, and is about to enter the High School. 

Largely because of this experience, I decided that I would like to work with these kinds of students. I then studied a Post-graduate qualification in education and taught remedial high school where I obviously had to learn to remediate ADHD students.

Her position on ADHD can be summed up like this: 

Personally, she believes it is more likely a personality type than an actual disorder (largely based on the fact that unless there is comorbidity and the child has other underlying challenges, there is nothing medically or psychologically wrong with these kids.) 

Having said that, whether or not you should medicate, there are certain intrinsic approaches that need to be taken to help these children flourish.

For Jessica, this is a three-fold approach that involves upskilling the parents and the child, and the teacher ( I won’t elaborate on each of the three components now, but from the point of view of educating parents, here are some of the aspects that are important when parenting ADD/HD children:

1.Establish routines: 

Routine is something that these children both rebel against, but also need desperately.

2. Adjust from autocracy to participative parenting: 

One of the biggest challenges I think most parents face, is the friction that often accompanies the ADHD child/parent relationship. Because of their passionate, often fixated creative ways of thinking, and desire to direct their own actions and behaviour, ADHD personalities are almost allergic to traditional methods of management. I know some parents feel that these kids are just badly behaved and need discipline, but I cannot stress enough the importance of these children learning SELF discipline, which comes from learning from a young age how to direct their own behaviour. This is why participative management is so important. 

For example, instead of saying, “You WILL do your homework right now,” you might try, “What time are you going to start doing your homework?” And then hold them to the time that they commit to. Another way to handle a situation like this, would be to offer them a choice, for example, “You can do your homework now, in which case you can have fifteen extra minutes of TV this evening, or you can do your homework when you are finished playing that game, but then it’s bedtime as usual.” 

Because of their nature, ADHD children are more likely to follow instructions that are presented in a way that allows them to participate in the outcome. 

3. Facilitate the shift from Goldfish to Elephant memory: 

ADHD personalities have difficulty remembering things because memory relies on attention: we cannot remember that to which we do not pay attention, and since we know that ADHD personalities process and filter information faster and in different ways to other people, sometimes information (especially uninteresting information,) tends to not quite make it to the memory bank. The way to remedy this, ties into learning routine, and relates to the ways in which we help children create “external memory strategies.”

4. Feed your child brain food, not junk food: 

Sugar is well-known for setting off ADHD kids, but even more relevant, are colourants, preservatives and additives. Stay away from dilutable juices, and when giving fruit juice, dilute it with water. Send water to school in juice bottles. Save sugary treats to be used as rewards for task completion, and for the weekends, and try keep these treats as “pure” as possible (eg. Chocolates and basic ice-creams, rather than hard-boiled/ jelly sweets which all have very high sugar content and lots of additives.) Try keep your child’s diet free from processed foods, like viennas and ready-made meals, and stick to home-made wholesome foods (veggies, meats, dairy, grains and legumes.)

5. Supplement with natural brain boosters

6. Work with your teacher, not against him/her: 

I wish parents knew the helplessness that teachers feel when they try to help ADHD children, and they can’t get the parents on board! Your child’s teacher is your closest ally when it comes to transforming your child’s behaviour, perceptions and thought processes! But it requires that you work WITH the teacher.

7. Talk to your child: 

Given an opportunity, ADHD children are much more likely to share important aspects of their day with you, because they LOVE talking about things that are important to them, or about which they are passionate. Get into the habit of taking time in the evening, or over breakfast to find out what is going on in your child’s life. This improves parent/child relationships and allows your child to share worries and anxieties with you

8. Do deep breathing with them at night to help them sleep, and make sure they get enough sleep: 

ADHD children frequently have difficulty calming themselves, and many struggle to fall asleep at night. Talking your child through a guided relaxation technique, and helping them to take slow deep breaths while tucking them into bed will help them to learn how to relax themselves, and should improve their ability to unwind. Some natural remedies (like Rescue) are also helpful in this regard.

9. Tell your child how wonderful their own special talents are: 

Often ADHD children feel as though they aren’t good enough/are naughty/ don’t listen/ fidget too much/ don’t do well at school etc. When reprimanding bad behaviour, remember to focus on the behaviour, and not the child (aka “I do not like this behaviour,” versus “You don’t listen”.)  Also take time every day to compliment your child on something they’ve done well, and encourage them to believe that they can do whatever they set their minds to.