"I have a weird feeling about my best friend's boyfriend that I can't shake off"
An anonymous listener sent through a predicament she's found herself in regarding her best friend's boyfriend. She has a difficult decision to make - open up to her friend or ignore it all...
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When your best friend decides to start a relationship, you have the unofficial job to ensure that you check the person out for them, and give your stamp of approval.
But what happens when your best friend is over the moon with her new beau, but you're sitting there with an uneasy feeling over the new significant other?
READ - KZN woman: "My best friend made me quit a friendship with another friend"
In this situation, there are usually two routes to take - you either voice your concerns or shut your mouth and pretend nothing is wrong. Be careful, though, because the choice you make ultimately will affect your relationship with your bestie.
An anonymous listener sent me this message via email to share her uncertainty over her friend's boyfriend. She describes it as a 'funny feeling' that she can't shake off, and it's not just her who feels this way.
Check out the message she sent below:
My best friend has got into a relationship with someone, but there’s a problem. When my partner and I met the new boyfriend we both got a “funny” feeling about him, you know that gut feeling that someone isn’t who they pretend and make people believe them to be. We didn’t say anything to her though. We are a big group of friends, and the scary part is that all of us get the same feeling about him. It seems like he also lied to my friend at the beginning of their relationship – but she doesn’t know this because she obviously takes his word for everything. Now they started telling each other “I love you” – their relationship is moving too quickly. I feel like their relationship has affected the relationship we have with her. Am I overreacting? Should we continue doing the effort into seeing her, should I be telling her how we all feel, or should we not make an effort and see what happens?
I think it's time that, as a friend, anonymous should just butt out of it. It doesn't have anything to do with her anyway.
The thing is, once she says anything negative about the best friend's boyfriend, the friend may still go ahead and marry him one day, and it could negatively affect their friendship.
If you find yourself in a similar situation and you feel that your friend's relationship is dangerous, abusive, or if their new person is abusing substances, then, yes, by all means, intervene, but in this case, all she has is a 'gut feeling' to go with. Is that really enough to potentially lose a friend over?ALSO READ: Are your friends more successful than you?
Is it anonymous' place to interfere in her friend's relationship as she has no proof, or should she butt out as it has nothing to do with her? Share your thoughts with me below.