Whose Passport Is It Anyway
I casually walked into the offices of the Department of Home Affairs and headed for the information counter, to enquire about applying for a passport.
An assistant pointed me towards a strangely “less busy” section, where she said I will be helped. To speed things up, she handed me forms to fill out and take them to the “less busy section.”
I must just point out that, it always helps to bring your own black pen, water, snacks, a fully charged smart phone (to play games and catch up on social media), have an extra-large bladder to keep in that liquid…and make sure the “annual leave” you applied for was approved (as you’ll spend a few precious hours)…and of course, your ID photos.
As per the “friendly” lady at the Info Desk, I walked over to the less busy section and joined a relatively short queue. While sitting there, something just didn’t feel right. Oh, that’s because I was hungry. You know how moody one can get, if they haven’t eaten. Every time the queue moved, I got more and more excited about going away - out of South Africa; for a weekend! After a two year absence, I was once again going to visit Swaziland. A beautiful country and its beautiful people.
It’s my turn! It’s my turn, as I approached the counter. I don’t want to say “unfriendly”, but I was met by a rather straight faced clerk. Okay, you know what, we all have bad days every now and again. So it’s okay. He doesn’t have to smile at me anyway, as long as I get my temporary passport.
“Where are you going?” Swaziland, I reply. “How long?” Just a weekend I said. “Okay let’s see. Ummmh… left thumb…sign here…and go to that cashier and pay there.”
Wow! So, it’s that easy to process immigration documents. I love Home Affairs
As I get to the cashier she says, “R400 please.” For what, I asked? “For your RSA passport”. That uneasy feeling I had while still sitting in the queue returned. Are you telling me, a temporary passport costs R400? “No. A permanent passport costs R400. We don’t do temporary passports anymore”, he said. There was an uncomfortable pause in my breathing.
Ok, so hang on! I have to be on Swaziland soil by latest 18h00 the following day. What the heck! Now what!
He goes on to say that, the only way I can be in Swaziland by the next day, is if I’m attending a funeral of a family member. Of which I need to produce a Death Certificate in order to qualify for an Emergency Passport and that person is to be buried outside of South Africa.
In short, Temp/Emergency Passports will be granted to applicants, who have family members outside the country, or in extremely special cases. A friend’s traditional wedding that I happened to be “the chief lobola negotiator” is not special enough.
At this time, a big part of me was still in denial and even proceeded to ask, “So…how can I be in Swaziland by tomorrow evening?” I was met with” “You won’t be. It’s impossible!
The soonest you can be there is 4-6weeks!” Since when? I quizzed. “1ST of September 2014.”
Why are there no signs that say, “We no longer issue temporary passports?”continuing with “Whose Passport Is It Anyway Game Show questions.”
Like a hopeful contestant he said, “The building is under renovations, we cannot put up any signs except renovation signs”. For the jackpot, with no help from the audience, can’t call a friend, can’t go for fifty-fifty. I asked,
“What about the lady at the Info Desk, she said I could come here?” In his game show mind, he screamed “final answer”. However, what came out of his mouth was a vocally, well amplified, “Next please!”
So, I cannot attend a wedding this weekend. The tribe…I mean the clerk, has spoken.