NSFR!!! (not safe for radio)

 

Now, while no one really knows HOW these things happen, the fact is - they do.

What befuddles me is the regularity and diversity of creatures it occurs with. @ecr9495’s Newswatch’s @NatarahECR reported this on @breakfaststack; “A Chinese man's most embarrassing moment is being told the world over".

The simpleton was watching an “Adult” movie and decided to imitate something the actors were doing. The only thing he could find which resembled the shape and design of what he saw in the movie… was an eel!!  After mimicking the scene on TV, things went a little pear shaped.  He lost grip of the slippery creature which somehow managed to worm its way up his… (You know that orifice between the small of your back and your perineum?)  After trying in vain to evacuate the offending sea creature...he went to hospital. Surgeons worked for hours to remove it.  It turned out to be a 50-centimetre long Asian swamp eel that weighed more than half a kilogram.

It's probably a good thing then, that he hadn't been watching “Ratatouille”…or “Lassie come home” or God-forbid… “Free Willie.”

Darren Maule