Love shines through on the East Coast

When I first read the letter that Candice Curry so beautifully wrote to her ex-hubby's new wife, I was so taken aback by her vulnerability and openness. 

I can only assume that welcoming a woman or man into your family that has what it takes to make it work with your ex must weigh heavy. 

In saying that, rather focusing on love, care and positive energy for the sake of the child seems so often forgotten. Sadly most of the emails I received on Friday were disheartened in nature - from women who just felt they could never build a bridge and get over it. 

This email, however, shone through: 

Hi Jane,          

I was listening to you read out that letter while I was in the car and have just reached my computer to send you a note.

My ex and I split up 13 years ago, I saw his girlfriend in the street (she was driving his car to the local shop and I was walking my dogs).

I knew she existed, but hadn’t met her, our son (then nearly three) had been to visit his dad a few times already, and he was with her at the time.

I walked over to her in the car park (with my two big dogs) and was met with a look of dread and horror when I greeted my son as he climbed out of the car and she realised who I was.  I held out my hand, introduced myself, name and surname, as my son’s mother, smiled, called her by name, and said it was good to meet her.

From then on, she and I got along fine, her kids came to my son’s birthday parties for a few years even after she and my ex split up, and we even bumped into each other in a local shopping centre and had a chat a couple of years back. It was never her fault that my ex and I split up; we managed that all by ourselves.  She didn’t even know me, he and I had made each other promises, not her. 

If the most precious being in my life was going to be in her care for several days at a stretch on a regular basis, I would rather have an ally than an enemy.

For the record, I also get on well with my ex, my husband (I remarried eventually) and my ex get along fine, and we regularly spend Christmas and family events together.  It makes life so much easier for everyone, not least of all the kids in the mix, when we can all be rational grown-ups...

Divorce is a horrible thing, and there’s no such thing as an amicable one, but sometimes it’s genuinely better than the situation that is caused by staying together, and when this is the case, why create more pain than is absolutely necessary?

(Photo: Gallo Images)