EXCLUSIVE: Zarah Ramsamy’s mom tells of healing journey

It was neat and light in atmosphere; there was a gentle splish-splash of water coming from a large fish tank in the middle of the living room. Although the space was peaceful, you could tell Shay was carrying months of pain, anger and a myriad of other emotions that come with losing a child.

Eleven-year-old Zarah was killed after hijackers drove over her as she lay underneath her family’s car in a bid to hide from the attackers. 

We sat on a brown sofa, where the conversation with Zarah’s grieving mother began with why she had decided to have this sit-down.

“I think it’s to fulfill my purpose. I believe that God has given me strength. I could have either gone left and gone into depression or fallen into a pit. Yet, I went right, and I sought after God, and His love and mercy have just been incredible through this journey. So, I believe what's given me strength is my purpose for families that have gone through similar tragedies or have had loss.”

Shay then took us through the tragic day of 11 September 2024, when she lost her little girl.

“It was the night of my baby's concert. We were so excited because she was performing. She says, 'Mom, I have this surprise and I'm not going to tell you what I'm going to sing and how I'm going to dance but come early and take the front row.’

“We got her flowers and chocolates, and we went to her concert. And we were so proud. Like any parent, so proud to see their beautiful baby up there.”

Shay says after the concert they went to a popular restaurant near their home to celebrate.

“It was a rainy night. We had gone in two vehicles because I had taken her granny with us to watch her concert. And so, she came in my vehicle. My husband had already gone [ahead], and my sons were with him in that vehicle.

“We parked, then I remember Zarah jumped out of the car. Her tutor was with us, and she had the car keys.

“As I was walking towards the back door [of the car], I saw this guy rushing towards me.”

Shay recalls that at least four armed men, masked and wearing bullet-proof vests, ambushed them.

At some point of them being accosted, Zarah hid underneath the car.

“I didn't know how many guys there were. I just saw one. I thought he came for my phone, so I gave it to him. And then I saw the tutor come around to me and say, ‘I gave the keys.’ So, I just said, ‘where's my baby?’ And I started saying to this guy, ‘Where's my baby?’ Give me my baby! Give me my baby! Just give me my child! Where's my child?’”

In the CCTV footage of the incident, one of the hijackers is seen in the family’s SUV trying to drive off. But he stops and briefly gets out of the car.

“And I heard the car start. And I heard it move. And I was already shaking. And then I went around, and [got] into the car, because I could see that the car had already gone over my baby. So, I [got] into the car to try to move it a bit.

“But then the keys were not there. I couldn't start it. I think the guy had the keys in his pocket or with him. And I just stood there and then this guy came [back] to the [car] door. I'm not sure whether he pulled me out or whether I jumped off. I went around to see if I could grab my child from under the car.

“But by then he [hijacker] had already gotten in the car again and I watched him just reverse over my child. And at that moment, my world just shattered. I froze.

“I went to my husband, and I was shaking. He then ran to Zarah and grabbed her, jumped into his vehicle, and drove off to Ahmed Al Kadi Hospital. And I was just there, hysterical.

“My baby never even knew what pain was. And I just thought at that moment, maybe she was going to have a few broken bones, and I was worried about the pain that she'd feel. But when I looked down and I saw all that blood I knew. And I just lay over that blood. I just wanted to be with her. All my clothes were covered with blood. I remember a lot of people coming there.

“We then went to the hospital. I was hysterical, so they had to sedate me. I remember my pastor waking me up and telling me, ‘Baby has ascended. She's gone. She's passed away.’ At that moment, my world shattered.

“It’s something no mother should experience. A pain that will be there forever. September 11th, it was a night that doesn’t even feel real.”

KZN police have confirmed to Newswatch that the suspects are still at large. They say the investigation is ongoing.

In October last year, a Cato Manor police officer was arrested after being found in possession of a bank card belonging to Shay, which he used to buy alcohol.

Constable Minenhle Makhaye had been given the task of moving the Ramsamy family’s SUV to a police facility after it was recovered from the crime scene. Shay’s bank card had been in the vehicle.

Makhaye’s matter is underway at the Durban Magistrates Court, with his next appearance scheduled for April.

Shay says she hasn’t been following the case because she wants to focus on her family.

She adds that she doesn’t want her daughter’s death to become a cold case should investigators not find the perpetrators. 

“For the first two or three weeks the police were here, but after that everything has become silent. No calls. No leads. Nothing. It's heartbreaking. It frustrates us sometimes. It also brings back the fear of who's next? I just hope and pray that this will shake the case again.”

Zarah had a close relationship with her two older brothers, Jamie and Tristan, according to their mother.

Shay says a house that was once full of laughter and joyful noises has now become quiet.

“It's a lot for teenage boys. They now hardly speak and keep to themselves. It's one thing going through grief, but another going through grief and trauma. But they have not shown that they are afraid. They have their way of hiding their pain to be brave for mom and dad.”

While she and her husband, Barnes, feel they saw “the worst of humanity” when they lost Zarah, they’ve felt strengthened by the support from family, friends and strangers around the world.

Shay shares that her faith has also been an anchor in her grieving journey.

She’s found comfort in bible verses that not only bring her closer to God, but also to Zarah, whom she described as a child who “loves everything that has breath.”

Shay revealed that she speaks of Zarah in the present tense because they “believe in eternal life.” 

During the interview, we were led to an altar in the yard situated inside a shed. In it, stands a wooden cross on top of a pedestal. Shay tells us it’s where Zarah prayed every morning before going to school.

We were also shown a pond with fish in the garden.

We’re told the fish became Zarah’s audience whenever she sang worship songs from the edge of the deck that led to the pond.

According to Shay, her daughter loved animals and had wanted to become a veterinarian as she enjoyed looking after small creatures and giving back to shelters.

For her, the hardest part about grieving is being in her daughter’s room.

As you enter, there are several frames placed on the floor, but facing the wall.

One is a mural of Zarah, painted in her honour after her death. On it, she can be seen in a pink T-shirt with a determined look on her face. The background of the painting is red.

Shay showed us Zarah’s books, bibles and a few art pieces. The 11-year-old had a journal where she’d write quotes and prayers.

The last entry she made in her journal was poignant and, in a way, premonitory: ‘Help us to be good friends to others, Lord. To speak gently, never gossip and to forgive people who hurt us.’

Although she’s felt an immense amount of pain, Shay expressed great pride in her daughter. She shared with us a project being led by her church to honour Zarah’s memory: a feeding programme for underprivileged children.

“I feel so honored that our church would do something like that to keep my baby's spirit going. It just reminds us that Zarah is a giver.”

As we ended the interview, Shay expressed that she felt a fullness that she hadn’t felt in a long time. She said she believes Zarah is cheering her on, and encouraging her to keep fighting, honouring and remembering her.

To get involved in the Zarah Project, visit www.embassychurch.co.za