Can’t stop checking your ex’s new relationship? You’re not alone
Common reasons why we secretly check our ex's new partner on social media and tips to help stop the habit.
Many of us have done it. You and your partner break up. Some time passes, then one day you discover that they have moved on. Before you know it, you’re scrolling through the social media profile of their new partner, trying to piece together who they are and what makes them different from you.
According to a recent poll by Norton LifeLock, published by Refinery29, 46% of respondents admitted to looking up their ex-partner’s new partner on social media. Some even confessed to creating fake accounts to do so anonymously.
So why do we do it?
Curiosity
Sometimes it is simply human nature - when someone was once a significant part of your life, it is natural to wonder where they are, who they are with and how their life is unfolding. Looking up an ex partner’s new relationship can feel like a way of filling in the blanks.
Looking for answers
Breakups often leave people with unanswered questions.
Some people check out their ex’s new partner because they want to know if they were the problem in the relationship. They compare themselves to the new person and look for clues that might explain why the relationship ended.
Seeking closure
For some, seeing an ex move on can help them accept that the relationship is truly over.
Looking at the new relationship may provide reassurance that both people are now on different paths. In some cases, it can help someone finally let go and move forward.
Comparing relationships
After a relationship has ended, sometimes people just want to know if their ex partner is miserable or happier without them.
Social media often gives people a glimpse into how their ex behaves in a new relationship.
Jealousy and envy
Not every breakup comes with closure. Sometimes people are left with unresolved feelings and a desire for things to have turned out differently. Seeing an ex move on can spark feelings of jealousy, loss and heartbreak, which may explain why some people find themselves keeping tabs on their ex’s new relationship online.
How to break the habit of checking up on your ex’s new partner
Practice the golden rule
Ask yourself how you would feel if an ex constantly monitored your relationship online. If it would make you uncomfortable, try and avoid doing it to others.
Mute, unfollow or block if necessary
Sometimes the healthiest choice is to remove the temptation altogether. Creating distance online can help create distance emotionally as well.
Seek peace of mind
At the end of the day, checking up on an ex’s new partner may satisfy your curiosity for a moment, but true peace usually comes from focusing less on their story and more on your own.
