Men’s Mental Health Month: Why men struggle to open up

*Trigger Warning: This piece discusses suicide and mental health.

We have all witnessed it - the man or men in our lives going through the most, and when you ask, “How are you doing?” you're often met with, “I’m fine.” Or that scare when you learn that your brother, cousin, or even father has attempted to take his own life.

Men and women are conditioned to express emotions differently. While most women have countless support groups and conversations around their challenges, men often suffer in silence.

This is why initiatives such as Men’s Health Month, which is observed every June, are important.

According to a 2025 report by TimesLIVE, men account for 80% of suicides in South Africa. The alarming number has caused government and other stakeholders to play an active role in trying to prevent more suicide deaths and depression among men.

Men’s Health Month was established to destroy the stigma that many men face when they choose to speak up about their challenges.

Mental health advocate Nkululeko Khanyi, who started the Ungazibulali Awareness Campaign 14 years ago, says the challenge stems from decades ago, when men were stigmatised for speaking out.

“Men are being told they must not cry or talk. The narrative that men must not talk comes from our forefathers” he says.

With the aim of changing things and saving more men, Khanyi started a nationwide campaign called Ungazibulali Ndoda - loosely translated to “Don’t kill yourself, man”.

Khanyi says he aims to visit different provinces, including bringing men from across KZN together in September, to tackle some of the issues they face.

“We are planning to host Ungazibulali Ndoda in KwaZulu-Natal, in Newcastle, in September.”

“Ungazibulali Ndoda is aimed at confronting the lie that men are tigers; they must not cry. When we talk, we ease our burdens, our pain, and our grief,” says Khanyi.

A suicide survivor himself, who hails from KwaZulu-Natal, Khanyi says he has seen the devastating impact of choosing silence over reaching out for help.

“We are dying silently as men, so it is very important to talk.”

The role of society in encouraging men to speak up

“There must be awareness in our society, families, churches, and organisations that constantly remind men to speak. This will save them,” says Khanyi.

He also adds that society must play an active role in encouraging men to seek professional help.

“Always try and reach out to professionals for help - it can be a counsellor, pastor, or medical practitioner who can assist before things get out of hand," says Khanyi.

He recalls when he attempted to take his life, due to the pressures of life, saying that the realisation he was going to die made him speak up.

“I could see that I am going to die if I don’t speak up and seek help. I saw that this thing is going to kill me if I continue acting so strongly and acting like I am fine.”

The mental health advocate says men must note that when they start to speak out, there might be backlash from society, but that should not stop them.

“When I first started talking, many people labelled me, calling me a coward. At that time, people used to think I was a failure, I was a coward, but today, many people connect with me through my story. It helped me to talk.”

“Now is the time to change - let men learn to talk, learn to reach out, and cry,” he concludes.

*If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out to a qualified mental health professional for support.