Jason almost dies on a golf course

So after playing a round of horrible golf ( not the place , just my golf) - with a few friends, one of whom decided to play with an orange ball which was more colourful than Elton John's clothing in the early 70s. And the 80s. And 90s now that I think of it.. I decided that golf is hazardous...

Aside from getting a beating worse than a batch of eggs in Gordon Ramsay's kitchen, I almost died at the hands of a golfer that was about 450 years old. Not kidding. Take Shabir Sheik ( the only other pro golfer I can think of in Durban) and age him about 400 years. He was like the Moses of the 15th hole. Which sounds dirty I agree.

After not shouting fore! ( which I still don't understand why that word was chosen), and landing on the green he had just FINISHED playing on ( with his next tee shot, keep up now!), he waves to me like he is a kid in the water and I am his mom, you know the wave I am talking about! The "I am fine mom but lets not make a scene out of it because I am with this cute girl in the water and I can't get out right now because *hormones*" wave. Anyway...

I may or may not have sworn at him which led him to charge down the tee ( it was only a two foot drop) and apologize profusely as if he had just slaughtered my entire village by accident. ( Because 400 years ago when he was a younger person, he would have had a village) - Moral of the story. Golf is hazardous.