3 rules when dining with friends

Picture this. You're out having a good time with your mates. The food is delicious and the drinks are fabulous. Everything's going great until...the bill arrives!

When it's time to pay the bill, everyone becomes an auditor and split peas on what they drank, ate and need to pay.
 
Things might get uncomfortable especially when a friend tries to get out of paying by making excuses.

As a guy who's also trying to score brownie points with the waitress, being a cheapskate is not an option. 

So here's my list of three things you need to do to ensure everything runs smoothly when dining with friends.

1. Before placing your drink orders ask your friends to reveal their budgets for the night. Tell the waiter the full amount and say, "We are not allowed to spend more than this!" If she is clever, she'll get you to guzzle the cheap stuff, save you money and still expect a tip.
 
2. When going to the bathroom, leave your phone behind! This is surety that you are coming back and no one gets the "Please Call Emergency" sms.
 
3. Yes! You have an American Express card. We know that! Please don't flash it! Paying a bill is as terrifying as being pulled over by a dodgy cop. Draw cash beforehand, like everybody else!