Ntokozo Mbambo shares powerful parenting lessons rooted in purpose
Durban-born singer-songwriter Ntokozo Mbambo reveals the importance of discovering your life's purpose and how she is helping her children find theirs.
South African gospel star Ntokozo Mbambo juggles many roles, but motherhood is one of her top priorities.
She is determined to help her children find their own path in life without losing sight of her own.
The singer's love for music has taken her all over the world, and her ministry has seen her share the stage with gospel stars such as CeCe Winans.
Mbambo discovered her purpose at an early age. She began playing the piano as a young girl and joined the popular local choir, Joyous Celebration, at the age of 15.
Her career as a solo artist has made her a household name, earning her multiple awards, including several South African Music Awards.
For Mbambo, there is nothing more important than her faith, family and music. She brings excellence to every role, a trait she learned from her parents.
Her parents were strict, but they were the first to realise she was a talented singer. She initially wanted to be a doctor, and her parents supported her dream, especially since she consistently earned good grades in school.
However, they soon realised she had a different calling.
"I can hear things that regular people wouldn't normally hear. That was a light bulb for them. They set a path for me that would direct me into music and that would make my musicality grow," she said.
"I remember when I was about six years old, they took me to piano lessons. They set things in motion. I was in a group with my parents."
Ntokozo Mbambo children
Mbambo and her husband, musician Nqubeko Mbatha, have three children together. They met while working with Joyous Celebration and have been married for nearly two decades.
Mbambo is applying some of the lessons she learnt from her parents to help her children discover their purpose and cultivate their passions.
"It really does help when you discover it early because it cushions you as well. You don't fall into the temptation of thinking, 'Let me find an easier route or let me do this.' My husband and I are really trying to work on our girls, talk to them, have conversations with them about what interests they have and also identify certain gifts and talents that they have."
She doesn't feel any pressure for her children to follow in her footsteps, and recognises their individual talents.
One of her daughters is "an incredible leader" with "amazing discipline", especially when it comes to her schoolwork.
The couple's music careers often take them on the road, but Mbambo says they do everything in their power to ensure their children know that they are loved.
"My children should never feel like, to mom, we were secondary to everything else. My girls are amazing. They are God's perfect gift to me. They make me smile in ways that are just unimaginable. They make me forget the woes of this world, she said.
Mbambo is strict about family time, even if it means turning down pictures from fans when she is out with her daughters.
"I do everything in my power to make sure that when I'm with them, I'm with them a hundred percent, and they know that they have my attention. That's their time with their parents, and in that moment, I'm a parent, not Ntokozo Mbambo."
Despite her best efforts, Mbambo occasionally feels "mom guilt".
"All of us as parents have gone through those moments where you're like, 'I could have done better as a parent. I should have seen this. I should have done this. I should have done that.' But ultimately, it's about learning from those mistakes and making sure that we grow from them and do better for our children," she said.
"I'm doing the best that I absolutely can because my children are my world."
Ntokozo Mbambo social media
The 'When I Remember' singer also opens up about her decision to keep her children out of the spotlight. They don't share any pictures of their daughters on social media.
"First of all, let me say a disclaimer that anyone who does that, it doesn't mean that they're bad people," she said. "It doesn't mean that they're horrible parents. I think to each their own."
Mbambo says that, due to her industry, she has to take extra measures to protect her children from the spotlight. She uses her platforms to promote her music and ministry, but social media can be a blessing and a curse.
"They didn't ask to be in the industry that we're in. They didn't ask to be popular figures, and we can't put the pressure of being in the public eye on them. It's a lot of pressure and, and unnecessary pressure."
Juggling the many hats she wears means that Mbambo doesn't often have time for self-care, but she says "me time" is essential.
"I need self-care. I need a spa day. A spa day is so good, but that, for me, is what self-care looks like. It's just having a day where I can go to the spa."
She also enjoys getting her hair and nails done, as that is one of the times she gets to be alone and just relax.
"My husband doesn't even like taking me to places like that. I love being a girl. I'm such a girly girl. So, I love those things. Nails, hair, you know, doing something that makes me feel good about myself. If for you, it means going shopping, do it."
The singer is proof that your dreams, family and passions can not only co-exist but also flourish, especially when you lead your life with purpose.
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