8 Signs you are in a toxic mom group

Updated Jan. 8, 2026, 7:39 a.m. | By Tamlyn Canham

Are some of the moms in your WhatsApp group just former high school mean girls in leggings?

Two moms sitting on a park bench with their children — File photo: iStock

Mom groups are meant to uplift and support, but these days, they feel more like a playground for toxic behaviour.

Many parents have joined mom groups on WhatsApp to build friendships and stay up-to-date on school events. Others turn to Facebook groups for advice or join clubs that organise meet-and-greets for stay-at-home moms.

While it initially feels great to be part of a community that understands your problems, some mom groups end up doing more harm than good.

You start to realise that some of the moms are just former high school mean girls with diaper bags.

Actress Ashley Tisdale French recently made headlines after revealing that she broke up with her mom group because of toxic behaviour.

The former 'High School Musical' star and her husband, music composer Christopher French, have two children together, Jupiter Iris and Emerson Clover.

Ashley says she joined a mom group to connect with other parents and build a community she could turn to for advice and support.

"The other moms and I swapped sleep training advice, took tons of photos (maybe too many photos), and celebrated the tiny victories. It was great and exactly what I needed at the time. A village of moms you never knew you needed," she wrote.

However, Ashley says things started to turn toxic.

"In my mom group, I started to notice that certain people would get talked about when they weren’t present, and not in a positive way," she wrote.

"I realized that there were group text chains that didn’t include everyone, which led to cliques forming within the larger group. And after the third or fourth time of seeing social media photos of everyone else at a hangout that I didn’t get invited to, it felt like I wasn't really part of the group after all."

Ashley has previously been associated with famous moms, including Hilary Duff, Meghan Trainor, and Mandy Moore. They have been spotted unwinding together at spas.

The actress insists she is talking about a different mom group, but social media users have noted that she no longer follows Duff and Moore.

READ: KZN mom wants to start a support group for mothers

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Signs you are in a toxic mom group

There are many ways you can tell if you are in a toxic mom group. However, just feeling like you don't belong is enough of a reason to take a step back.

Things might have started off amazing, but slowly, you start to realise that you are no longer in a space that feels safe or welcoming.

Here are some of the red flags you might notice:

You feel drained after interacting with the mom group, whether online or in person.
There is always pressure to be the perfect mom.
They constantly judge your parenting or even your appearance.
They stop including you in playdates and birthday parties.
They pretend not to notice you at school events and other gatherings.
They are in constant competition with you and/or your children.
They make negative comments about you to other moms.
They are constantly complaining about other moms.

How to leave a toxic mom group

Honesty is the best policy: Without getting too much into the details, be honest that you no longer feel like the group is serving you. Wish them well, and then exit the group with your dignity intact.

Leave quietly: Ghosting is not always the best, but if the other moms have already started pulling away from you, don't force yoursel to be included in activities. Slowly begin distancing yourself from the group.

Don't stoop to their level: Remain polite at all times, as getting defensive will add fuel to the flames. It will also give negative moms more reason to gossip about you. Kill them with kindness as you wave goodbye to their toxic group.

READ: A new kind of co-parenting: Single moms move in together