Top 10 relationship myths

Valentine’s Day can be a great reminder for us to stop for at least one moment each year and reflect on the deep love and appreciation we have for that special someone in our life.

 

However, it’s wise to dispel any myths surrounding how a relationship is supposed to be.  

 

We have all read about ‘happily ever after’ and other misleading fantasies in story books. Most people continue to buy into these childhood ideas, even in adulthood.  

 

However, believing in these common myths will keep you from fully experiencing the riches that every relationship has to offer.

 

Here are the top ten relationship myths:

 

MYTH 1:  A New Relationship Will Make Me Happy

During the initial infatuation phase of a relationship, you see mostly the positive side of the person.  There is a strong attraction, positive traits and potential for lasting happiness.  However, that’s just a delusion.  Regardless of how well a relationship begins, you will eventually experience both sides of the person with as many challenges as support. A relationship will not change this natural experience of human emotions.

 

MYTH 2:  When I Find My Soul Mate, I’ll Feel Complete

Living as if your soul mate will complete you will only lead to heartbreak.  The illusions that you project onto your soul mate will inevitably fall apart when they sometimes behave in a manner that is not supportive of you. A soul mate can be one person or several people in your life that fully complement you and help you find your own wholeness.

 

MYTH3:  The Right Relationship Will Last Forever

For every relationship beginning, there is another one ending.  So the idea of forever is an unrealistic expectation. A relationship lasts as long as both people communicate in each other’s highest values or priorities. 

 

MYTH 4:  Once We Get Past These Rough Waters, It’ll Be Smooth Sailing

Relationships are not static and no one remedy will eliminate all your supposed troubles.  As I mentioned above, life involves a balance of difficulty and ease; of liberty and constraint.

 

MYTH 5:  A Good Relationship Requires Sacrifice

Sacrifice tends to breed resentment.  Anytime you do something you don’t want to do, or see no benefit to yourself in doing it, then you will become resentful.  This may happen immediately, or unconsciously. It’s wiser to master the art of communicating in each other’s values. 

 

MYTH 6: Great Sex Happens Only at the Beginning of a Relationship

Both lust and intimate lovemaking can continue to grow and evolve throughout a relationship as long as you understand and disable any unrealistic expectations that might shut it down.  This includes the myths listed here.

 

MYTH 7: In the Right Relationship, I Won’t Have to Work at It

Many people hang on to the idea that being with someone should happen naturally. However, a fulfilling relationship requires concentration, organisation, effort and skill.

 

MYTH 8:  If I’m Not Involved with Someone I’ll Be Lonely

People can feel lonely in a crowded room.  Loneliness is a function of how you perceive yourself relative to your environment.  You can sleep right next to someone and yet feel a thousand miles distant or be a thousand miles distant but feel as if they are close. 

 

MYTH 9: Children Complete a Marriage

Children are unlikely to complete a union, just as romantic partners are unlikely to complete each other.  

 

MYTH 10:  Opposites Attract

There is no true opposite, only an apparent opposite.  Every human has the same potential for love, anger, greatness, hope, despair etc.  What you see in a romantic partner is also present in you.  It’s just expressed in a different way.

 

- Dr John Demartini

 

Dr John Demartini is a leading authority in human behaviour and leadership development. He is the author of 10 self-development books including the Heart of Love. For more information on Dr John Demartini, his products or seminar programmes visit: www.DrDemartini.com or email [email protected]. 

 

(Photo: Gallo Images)