Is Darren morphing into Miley?
We’ve noticed a few disturbing behavioural changes lately and our subject in question, Darren, has been rather coy about the whole thing. Is our Breakfast jock turning into Miley Cyrus? Say it ain’t so Darren!
It seems the rumour mill's been working overtime at East Coast Radio.
Our Breakfast joke, oops, we mean jock, Darren Maule’s name is being bandied about in the subject line of gossip emails.
While he hasn’t admitted whether these office stories are in fact true, he hasn’t been quick to deny them.
So what’s up with all this chatter in hushed tones?
Well, a few of Mr Maule's colleagues first commented a few weeks ago that they couldn’t help noticing an unsettling change in Darren’s behaviour.
They noted, "He seems to be taking on a different persona."
Their remarks quickly flooded the office corridors and after a lengthy spell of ‘Chinese Whispers,’ it all became clear. Darren Maule is morphing into Miley Cyrus!
We couldn’t believe it took us months to figure that one out. We're glad we finally did though!
Now, we’re not ones to tell a lie. Oh no Darren, we would never do that. Just to prove there’s substance to our story, we’ve drawn up a ‘Miley Cyrus Wanna-Be’ checklist. Go ahead, check it out for yourself.
#1 – The Hair
The fashion police probably knew things were starting to get weird when Miley took the decision in 2012 to chop off her famous Hannah Montana locks for a short, svelte do. Darren Maule rocked up two weeks ago with a brand new haircut too! He gave up his Little Rascals flat-top style for an edgy, bedhead look that has Miley written all over it!
#2 - The Kids Link
Miley won the hearts of children and parents all over the world when she starred in the hit Disney show, Hannah Montana, playing the role of a secret pop star. The series ran from 2006 until 2011. Darren Maule is known to be the fifth and lost member of the Teletubbies.
#3 – Their Undies
Miley received a lot of flack when she twerked her behind off at last year’s MTV VMAs in a nude PVC bikini. Darren paraded his assets in just a skimpy speedo at Suncoast Casino in November, much to many East Coasters’ delight we might add!
#4 – The Moves
Miley’s proved time and time again at live shows that she’s a struggling dancer. Darren, it seems, has been taking lessons from Bafana Bafana.
Video – Darren dancing – check clip:
#5 – Birthday Suits
The former child star came into her own when she released the video for her hit single Wrecking Ball last year. The world sat up and took notice of a new artist, a woman shaping her own future, as Miley sat fully naked on a giant wrecking ball, pouring her broken heart out. Not to be outdone, Darren unveiled his birthday suit to the world too, last week. His version though came with his own built-in wrecking ball.
#6 - The Voice
While Miley sounds great in studio, her frenetic performances on stage leave her battling for breath at times and she’s known to hit a good couple of ‘bum’ notes. Darren Maule can’t sing. Period.
Do you agree with the team? Can you see Darren morphing into Miley?
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- East Coast Breakfast