How I won my struggle with anorexia

Yesterday I was once again bowled over by all the love and concern over the clip I posted on Rachael and her terrifying struggle with anorexia.  

The phone rang off the hook, emails of love and support streamed in including emails of liberated recovery.

Here is one of the mails I received.

 

Hi Jane

Watching that clip on Rachael and her struggle with anorexia compelled me to send you my mail.

I was 14 years old at the time. My lowest weight recorded was 37kgs and I am not a small petite framed person at all.

My menstrual cycle stopped completely and I grew fine hair all over my body.

My folks did not want to admit me to TARA or any medical facility as at that stage (20 years ago, I am now 38)

My mom took me to our GP though who told her that if my weight dropped to 34 that death would be imminent. Yet that did not scare me at all as I could not see what I looked like in the mirror and I could not understand what the fuss was about.

I exercised in the middle of the night to hide it from my folks and never ate a thing. Just perhaps a half a piece of brown toast (no butter or anything) and a half an apple a day.

I was in Standard 8 (Grade 10 as we now know it) and the principal of my school eventually told my folks that I am not allowed back at school as they did not want to deal with a death on their premises, and that I was stay home and my class mates had to bring my work home for me to do.

My school said that I am only allowed back once I reach my goal weight and that if I was to continue getting my school work sent home, the condition was that I needed to be weighed once a week and my weight phoned into the school.

It was awful as my mind was still diseased even though I had no choice but to eat if I was to complete my schooling and I knew that I did not have a choice.

I slipped into depression as my mind was still anorexic but I was forced to eat – you can’t explain the guilt that you feel when you eat when you have the disease.

To cure my mind though, no medical facility helped me. I know not everyone is religious and those that are have different beliefs so when you tell people this some think you are mad but, what cured my mind, while my body was healing with forced eating, was prayer. I gave thanks every day that I won the battle!

Needless to say, after a year at reaching my goal weight, by menstrual cycle came back (a miracle in itself because doctors said that my ovaries had been too badly damaged due to prolonged starvation and that it was unlikely that I would ovulate again) and I am a proud mommy of a gorgeous 16 year old teenager

 

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